Hard to Explain
by Insomiak
Summary: Shoichi's been hiding in his bedroom trying to build a robot to enter into his high school's competition.  Except... that's not really why he's hiding.  NC 17. Spanner/Shoichi. 4851.


**WARNING**: This contains **two men** having **sex**. If you don't like that sort of thing, please leave. If you are under eighteen, please leave.

(But I'm only saying that so all the fifteen year olds can feel badass about breaking that rule like I used to when I was fifteen.)

This is written for my friend on her birthday! HAPPY BIRTHDAY J. :]

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_Hard to Explain_…

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Shoichi stares at the blueprints for his robot, trying to understand what tiny thing he did wrong to the circuit board. Every time he told it to attack, it rolled up to the practice-dummy and gave it a kiss. He'd started this model in hopes of entering it in his high school's annual robotics competition, but at this rate there's no way he'll make it. The machine just started moving independently yesterday, which would be great except it's got all kinds of annoying glitches - like kissing instead of attacking - so Shoichi doesn't feel particularly confident about it. Giving up, however, is not an option.

A certain sucker-licking mechanic is entering the competition too, and Shoichi will not lose to him. Not again. He's been sitting in his basement for an entire month now, doing nothing but eating, bathing regularly, and working on his robot. Determination isn't necessarily his strongest point, but he can't lose to Spanner no matter what sort of relationship they have. Usually he's clever and can figure a way around problems, but with regards to this robot and his…well, love life, Shoichi is totally lost.

How is he supposed to act when in competition with the man he's _with_? As in dating. As in what the hell, he's going out with another guy! What will his parents think? His own sister is going to kill him, that's a no-brainer. But he knows none of that matters to him nearly half as much as trying to understand why he's so focused on kicking Spanner's ass this year. Is he worried about the blond just letting him win because they're going out? Or maybe it's something else entirely. It's hard to find the answer when he hasn't seen or spoken to the other part of the question in over four weeks.

If he puts this whole competition in the back of his mind, Shoichi really misses him. They've only been going out for a few months but they're known each other for years - he's felt this way for years - so he gets lonely after awhile. He understands it's not good to cut off any form of communication with him for too long, because they're both new to this relationship and need to feed it with conversation or it'll just die out. Shoichi honestly and consciously _does_ know that, but he stuffs it to the bottom of his thought-pile and continues looking at his work, trying to make sense of it since he's too nervous to make sense of his life.

His stomach contracts and cramps up, but he ignores it and keeps staring.

"Maybe it's the… no."

There's a knock at his door. It's not locked, and a few seconds later, it opens.

"Sho-san?" That silky voice treads across his face and into his ears. "Hello?"

"Down here," he says, not looking at Spanner.

He walks further into the room, feet shuffling. "Oh."

"What do you want?"

Sitting directly in front of him, the blond asks, "Why haven't you been in class?"

"It's none of your business."

"Have you been here this whole time?"

"It's none of your business, I said."

Placing one slender hand in the middle of Shoichi's blueprints, the younger mechanic leans in, sucker sticking out from between his lips. "Fine. Why aren't you returning my calls?"

"I-" Surprised by the quick closeness, the redhead feels his stomach tighten. He looks down and shoves Spanner's hand out of his way. "I've been busy."

"Too busy for me?" The backlash of the statement, how abrupt it is and how his boyfriend actually sounds hurt, makes Shoichi gaze over at him. Grey eyes stare back with their general calmness, but for some reason he can't stop looking at his lips.

"I've just… been busy." Quickly he sets his view back on his work. He wont let Spanner distract him from winning. That's probably what this whole visit is about. Likely the blond is finished his entry, and has come with the sole intention of ensuring that Shoichi never finishes his.

But somehow that doesn't seem right.

"Sho-san." Spanner kicks his shoes off and crawls on top of Shoichi's work, placing each hand on his shoulders. "Don't push me away. If something's bothering you-"

"_Nothing_ was bothering me until you decided to come in here and distract me!" He rises onto his knees, pushing the blond's hands off his body.

But Spanner just slides closer. "Distract you from what? What have you been doing down here?"

Shoichi can't believe this. He actually has the audacity to pretend to have no idea that he's trying to build a robot? They participate in the competition every year! Does Spanner think he's some kind of idiot? Deciding that he must, the redhead stands up and walks over to his notes that are thumbtacked to the wall, disregarding the question.

An annoyed sigh floats through the room, and he hears Spanner's footsteps sway to him. He'd expected to be followed but what he doesn't see coming is two warm arms wrapping around his stomach, and a long torso resting against his back. Shoichi doesn't say anything, doesn't do anything, partly because he's in shock and mostly because he wonders where this will go. But a few seconds beat by and Spanner pulls him in closer, getting rid of any space between them and then kisses the back of his head, just next to his ear.

"Sho-san, if something's wrong, you need to tell me."

Shoichi places both hands on his desk, needing to steady himself as hot waves of air tail down his neck. "N-Nothing's wrong, I'm…"

"Busy?" The blond offers.

"Yeah."

"With _what_?" He moves his head directly next to Shoichi's, resting it on his shoulder. "You've been down here for a month and you haven't been returning my calls or texts… what's so much more important than me?"

Jealous. Spanner is jealous. This sends heat surging through the brown eyed boy's chest and his stomach cramps, so he pushes Spanner off of him to hold it. How can someone like him, someone so collected and focused and self-interested, be jealous? Especially over where and to whom Shoichi's attention is divided? It has never once crossed his mind that the blond might miss him too, might worry about where he is and what he's doing… but shouldn't he know?

"I'm working on my entry for the robotics competition," he says, back to the other boy and still holding his stomach. "That's all."

"But…" He doesn't make any move to touch him, knowing about his anxiety issues. "The competition isn't for another six months."

"So?" He says, turing to face Spanner with levelled brown eyes. "It's good to get a head start."

The blond grabs one of Shoichi's hands. It's shaking, so he tightens his grip. "You're avoiding me, Shoichi."

"I…"

"What did I do? You've locked yourself down here for four weeks straight," he brings smaller fingers up to his lips and kisses them, trying to calm the other boy down, "and you wont be honest with me. I know you're nervous, but-"

"I'm not nervous!"

"Your _shaking_!"

"I'm tired…"

"Then talk to me."

"I cant!"

"Why not?" He pulls Shoichi in again, placing one hand on the back of his head.

He leans into the hug, burnt out. "I don't know…" Then wraps his own arms around the blond, trying to relax. "This whole thing is just so weird. I mean, one minute we were fighting over processing units, and the next you were kissing me and telling me you liked me and now we're supposed to be dating but it doesn't feel like we are at all."

Spanner starts playing with red curls. "Why not? What am I doing wrong?"

That's his favourite thing about Spanner. When most people don't understand something, they will assume that there is something wrong with what they don't understand. Spanner, however, assumes that there is something wrong with himself when he comes across a situation he can't figure out. It's refreshing. Attractive. But right now, it isn't right.

"Nothing. It's me," the older boys says. He buries his head in a green-clothed shoulder. "I'm the one not paying any attention to you."

"Hmm…" Spanner hums, twisting a lock between his fingers. "I'm sure you can make up for it." He slides his other hand to Shoichi's waist. "I do feel thoroughly ignored, though, so it may take awhile."

"W-W-Wha…" Shoichi's face heats up, and feels his hips grind against the only other pair in the room, quite of their own accord. "Ah… I…"

Then Spanner's lips are on his, softly. Like the first time they'd kissed. But while Shoichi is remembering it the blond sticks his tongue out just a little to lick the redhead's mouth. Then he backs off and sucks on his bottom lip slowly, fully, just long enough for the sensation to ride all the way down to Shoichi's toes. Moving both hands from the older mechanic's waist lower to his hips, Spanner kisses him again, tongue exploring every inch of the inside of Shoichi's cute mouth, the same one he used to stare at in math class all last year (the same one that gave him a C in said math class), smiling when he makes a low groaning sound.

"S-Spanner…" He whispers against a pair of hot, wet lips. Then he touches his own, mostly because their numb, and realizes his are just as hot and just as wet. _Oh_.

The blond rests their foreheads together. "You don't want to?"

"I don't..."

Sighing, Spanner starts to back away. "Well if you're really not ready."

"No!" Shoichi grabs the front of his jacket, bringing him back to his chest. "I mean, I don't _know_."

The blond chuckles lightly. Walking the other mechanic backwards step by step to the wall, he says, "Obviously you do know, since you won't let me leave."

Shoichi blushes, and it clashes horribly with his hair. "Yeah."

"So can we…?"

His face gets redder, but he leans in to meet Spanner's mouth anyway, still grabbing onto the green fabric over his chest. "Yeah," he says, so quiet he hardly hears himself, and kisses the blond. Immediately his stomach burns, but its not the same as being anxious. It's rougher, but it feels nicer. More urgent. Like it's an itch that needs to be scratched and the only person in the entire world who can scratch it for him is standing exactly in front of him, holding him and trying his best to make him feel good.

Shoichi feels amazing.

Placing a hand behind his head first, Spanner shoves the other boy harder on the wall. Taking his time, he slides his growing erection against Shoichi's, not liking that their pants are in the way but not stopping until he hears that same low, throaty moan he always makes. When he does it sends a shiver down the grey eyed mechanic's spine, so he rubs himself against the other boy again.

"Nrrg… Spanner…"

"You know, Sho-san," he says quietly. Before he finishes, though, he slips a hand up into Shoichi's shirt, feeling around his stomach. Then he leans in, lips brushing lightly against his ear as he speaks. "I jerk off to you every day."

"_What_?" He says it likes he's disgusted. His knees, however, give out under him, and he has to grab Spanner's shoulders quickly to stop himself from falling. He's about to continue the question, but the blond starts kissing his neck. Though Shoichi can't see it, he can feel every time the wetter parts of those lips stick to his skin and jump to catch up with Spanner's moving jaw, every time he closes in and presses firmer. He kisses all the way down to his clavicle.

Shoichi's mouth drops open in a silent moan when Spanner's hands slide up to his nipples, just under his lips which are still playing around with the redhead's collarbone. But the moment those slender fingers graze across the tip of one, Shoichi's moan becomes very loud. He sets his head on the wall behind him, pulling Spanner's body nearer as the blond tweaks one nipple between his fingers, breathing heavily against his skin.

"Spanner-"

Somehow, by the way he says his name, the blond knows exactly what Shoichi wants and goes back up to his lips to kiss him. But he keeps playing with his hard nipples, rubbing a finger up and down against one, loving the way the older boy twitches every time he does.

Then Shoichi tugs on Spanner's jacket, which of course means _take it off_, but again, he isn't sure how he knows.

"Impatient?"

"Nn. Shut up," the redhead replies, unzipping the green coat with one swift arm-length down. After peeling it off Spanner's body along with his t-shirt, he lifts his own over his head. He drops it to the floor, never taking his eyes off grey ones. Lips swollen from kissing and head filled with the urge to keep kissing he mumbles, "I'm sorry."

"I know."

Then Spanner drops to his knees, looking up at Shoichi with a wolfish smile.

The redhead stares directly down at him with wide eyes. "Spanner, you don't need to…"

Ignoring his words, he kisses his stomach, just below the bellybutton. Then his lips trace lower and his hands come up to undue Shoichi's belt. He lets his fingers rub the budge in his jeans before even bothering with the buckle, however.

"_Ahh_-"

He looks up at Shoichi's face. His eyes are closed, mouth hanging open in the middle of a moan. Stroking his cock through his pants again, fingers playing with it's base, letting his entire body vibrate when his boyfriend moans again, Spanner says, "You're so beautiful, Irie."

"Don't - _nnrrg_ - c-call me that."

"What, 'Irie'?" Spanner slips the belt off of his jeans and places his mouth dangerously close to the swelling in his pants. "Or 'beautiful'?"

Getting tired of waiting and of Spanner talking, Shoichi goes to grab himself, but is stopped. The blond takes each of his hands and places them on his shoulders. Then he snatches the redhead's hips. Slowly, careful not to bite anywhere sensitive, he lifts the fabric surrounding the button on his jeans away with his teeth. Shoichi tries to jerk under him, but Spanner pushes him against the wall, needing him to stay still so he doesn't hurt him.

"Y-You really don't have to do this."

Still completely and entirely ignoring his words, Spanner takes the zipper between his dog teeth and pulls it down. The jeans fall to the floor with a poof, showing a pair of red boxers covering faltering hips, ones that can't stay still. Again using his teeth Spanner slips them off of Shoichi, lips gracing over his erect cock, sticking to it as he veers his jaw line down the member.

"Na-_ah_…"

Grabbing the base of his penis he studies it for a second. It's bigger than he though it would be, and he's a little worried he might not be able to fit it all in his mouth. But as Shoichi's fingernails dig into his shoulders, as pre-cum begins to drip down his shaft, he feels his own dick grow harder and stops worrying. Sticking his tongue out, he licks Shoichi's tip, squeezing his ass with his other hand. Listlessly he drags his tongue from the tip of his cock down to his fraenum, not shocked to find that he isn't circumcised. The moment he runs over that string of skin Shoichi knocks his head against the wall, hard, and Spanner can feel his ass tense under his hand.

"F-_fuck_…" The redhead pushes the blond's mouth away from his dick. "Spanner, b-bed." Nodding, he stands. He picks Shoichi up in his arms like a bride, and walks quickly away from the wall. "I didn't mean you had to carry me…"

Spanner kisses him full on the lips as he moves to the other boy's bed. "I want to." That said, he throws Shoichi onto the mattress on his back, and crawls between his legs.

The redhead squirms and chokes on a cry, watching as Spanner opens his mouth wide and takes his entire cock in. Warmth and wetness surrounds it suddenly, fully. Dragging, the blond slides his lips up Shoichi's dick, letting his tongue slip over his fraenum again. This time the redhead's hips thrust upwards and he moans louder. So Spanner repeats it; swallows his entire shaft, which he can feel throbbing against his lips, and slowly moves his mouth upward, making sure to lick that line of flesh a little bit harder.

He looks up, and watches Shoichi's entire torso - chest and groin - lift off the bed, stretch out in ecstasy, and crash back down onto it. "_Span…ner_."

"Irie. Can I…?"

Just like he always understands what Shoichi wants when he hardly says anything, the redhead looks at the ceiling, blushes, and nods.

Standing on his knees, the younger mechanic undoes his pants, tossing them to the ground. Then he takes one of Shoichi's hands in his own and kisses it, wanting to make sure they both know that sex isn't the only reason they stay with each other. "Sho-kun…"

Smirking a little wickedly, Shoichi takes Spanner's hand and guides him on top of him. Unintentionally their cocks rub together and they both gasp, faces inches apart. For a moment they pause and stare, shocked, not used this. To hearing each other, seeing each other so turned on. But Shoichi smirks up at him again, ending the panicky wait. He guides two of Spanner's long fingers and places them coyly in his mouth, closing his lips around them and looking darkly into grey eyes. He feels thoroughly seduced. Consumed in his own passion, in how hot Spanner is, laying over him, eyes wide with shock. He curves his tongue between both fingers, making sure they're wet because he doesn't want this to hurt.

But Spanner had sworn that whenever they got around to this, he'd make sure it didn't.

"_Irie_…" Surprised by the affectionate cry, the redhead jumps, which sends waves of friction down their chests and makes Spanner moan again. Then he takes a deep breath, trying to keep his voice steady. "You're really amazing."

Shoichi pulls the fingers out of his mouth, flushing when a long trail of drool follows them. As he shifts his hips forward to make sure Spanner can get at them easily, and as the other mechanic sits up, he looks at his long face. Restlessly he sends his gaze down the other boy's neck, idling over his adam's apple that moves as he swallows. It's sort of arousing, to know that Spanner is nervous, that he's worried about making this good for Shoichi. Then he drops his eyes completely, finally coming to a screaming halt on the blond's cock. It's resting between his own thighs because Spanner is very close to him. It's thick, straight and hardened, with a large tip that Shoichi can't stop staring at, biting down on his mouth. About three seconds tick by before he realizes that he's going to have that entire thing inside him, over and over and over again, pounding him deep into his mattress.

While he's thinking about it Spanner backs up and kisses the inside of his thighs. Shoichi squeaks, trying to close his legs but the blond's holding them open. A few soft kisses and then he's nudging his fingers, covered in the other boy's saliva, against his ass. He waits for the redhead to take a deep breath. He does, and Spanner attentively slides both his fingers in, biting his bottom lip.

Being most likely a virgin in this sense, Shoichi is tight. Spanner can feel every inch of his hole gripping as he slides his fingers up and down, trying to loosen it. It's good for him, but…

"Sho-kun, you need to relax."

"H-How can I_ relax_?" The older boy jerks and lets out a soft grunt of pain. "Y-Y-You're… you're fingers are…"

Spanner places his head on Shoichi's left knee, kissing it before resting on it. "Take a deep breath."

"I- I- I-"

"Do you want me to stop?" Because Spanner really will, point blank, if Shoichi asks him.

"N-No…"

"Then relax," he says, lifting his head up. "I'm not going to hurt you."

"I know." He takes a long breath, which causes him to tighten only a bit around Spanner's fingers. It's enough, though, and the redhead tries to bite back a moan.

And fails.

Smirking Spanner sinks further in. He pushes against the walls of Shoichi's ass, splitting his fingers apart slightly. Brown eyes snap shut, face contorting a bit every time the blond eases in more, hips rocking back with the force. Spanner's fingers move inside him without a pattern, so Shoichi has no idea which part of him he's going to press against next, how soft, how rough, how _deep_… He opens his eyes to watch, and could scream when he sees the concentration on the other boy's face; he sways his eyes down and moans the second he looks at his own throbbing cock, so close to the three fingers Spanner left outside of him. He can't believe this feels good. He'd read about it and thought it was bullshit, but apparently…

Spanner slides his fingers out.

Without giving any time for thought, he grabs Shoichi's hips, squeezing, and brings the tip of his cock to his entrance. Waits, looking for understanding, awareness, and permission on the older boy's face. He finds it a second later when Shoichi blushes and moves his body downward, rubbing his ass over Spanner's dick.

Lightning strikes through his body and hardens him more, and the blond groans. But he manages to insert himself slowly, knowing how apprehensive the redhead is and wanting this to work for both of them. As he does so he feels every hot inch of him, again, but this time it's around his member - tight and wet. Bringing himself partly out of Shoichi he means to thrust back in, but with a rush of air the older boy sits up quickly, landing in Spanner's lap. This of course causes Shoichi to take the fullness of Spanner's cock inside him, and he moans heatedly, lips only a breath away from the other's.

Opening his bright brown eyes Shoichi looks at Spanner, and lifts himself partway off his hard-on. The sleek but firm sensation rips through his back. He feels so full, so heavy, and so adored when, as he pushes himself down over Spanner, the blond forces his cock up into him. It rubs against his prostate and Shoichi sees white, chocking out the younger boy's name. They do this a few more times, very slowly, Shoichi raising himself and falling to meet Spanner, groaning against him as he's penetrated.

His own cock twitches, more pre-cum leaking out. He goes to grab it but Spanner pushes his hands away, doing it himself.

"Irie…"

He drags his hand up and down the other's shaft, trying to keep a rhythm with it while speeding up with his hips. Shoichi's back arches as the pace quickens, Spanner thrusting into him repeatedly. The weight from being jerked up and down is driving his cock insane, making it grow harder each time Spanner's connects with his prostate. The blond pushes in deeper, faster each time, knowing the redhead is about to come.

"_Spanner_-"

With a soft scream he does, semen spilling out over his cock and down between them, covering their stomachs. Not being done, Spanner keeps pumping, and the sensation of still being fucked while coming is mindblowing for Shoichi. He holds on tightly to the blond's shoulders, raising his hips, giving more room to thrust into him. He pants in his orgasm, mouth hanging slightly open and stares at their joined hips as Spanner continues to beat into him.

Then he comes, finally, moaning Shoichi's given name. The redhead flushes as his ass fills with the other's fluid.

Spanner sets their foreheads together, breathing heavily. "Are you…?"

"Yeah," the older mechanic says, trying to ignore how filled his ass is but when he does, his eyes trail down to the mess of cum between them. "I'm fine." _Great_. _Amazing_. "You?"

"Ah, well… could you get off? My legs are asleep."

Shoichi stiffens, sliding away from his limp cock. "Sorry." But as he does the semen in his ass leaks out. The expression on Spanner's face grows exceedingly more shocked as Shoichi grabs his hand and pulls them down next to each other, face red. "_Don't_."

Spanner grins and kisses him lightly, wrapping two arms around his waist. "You're so amazing, Irie."

"Let me go. I want to shower."

"Only if I can join you."

"Are you crazy? We just-" He can't finish.

"We just what?" Spanner pulls him closer. "Say it."

"No."

"Irie…"

"_No_."

Spanner sighs and lets go. "Okay. But don't go hide on me again, alright?"

Reeling back a little, the redhead gives his boyfriend a sideways glance. But his eyes spark, lighting up and he brushes blond hair away from his pale face, smiling as he speaks.

"If you're gonna react like this every time, I might just have to."

End.

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4851 is motherfucking _sexy_.

-Inso.

(I spelt 'semen' as 'seaman' the first time I posted this. The mistake has been corrected, but the image of a seaman coming out of Shoichi's penis will forever be ingrained in my head.)


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